Burn
by Etern
Summary: Sometimes confessions come too late. There's no longer room to turn back for Riku. R/S


burn.

BY: Etern

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the song Paradise Lost by Hollywood Undead.

A/N: This is a Riku/Sora slash I wrote about...six months ago, ha, and finally remembered when I went through my files today! I have such random things on my computer, I swear. ;p

* * *

Everything was a façade. Everything was just as it was supposed to look—normal, as though there had never been anything wrong in the first place.

What a sad, sad little lie.

He was still standing there, at the doorway to darkness; but no one, not even the one he secretly loved, seemed to notice that. He acted normally, the same old cocky bastard from before, the same boy who had always taken everything as a challenge, the same boy who had always been prone to fits of reflecting.

_So watch my chest heave  
as this last breath leaves me  
I am trying to be  
what you're dying to see_

But now, after his trip into the long, abysmal darkness, no one seemed to realize how these fits of reflection would slowly start to deteriorate him. How could he not recall what he had done? The guilt was still a knife in his chest, twisting, turning, secretly gutting him every time he looked into the faces of those he had hurt, every time he looked into the horizon and saw the setting sun.

He had chosen the path of twilight, he knew; so why was he still here, on this sunny island full of nothing but light?

There was only one sole reason, the link to Riku's sanity:

Sora.

The boy with the eyes like the sky he was named after, the boy who had ultimately risked everything just for him, his friend who had betrayed him, tortured him, tried to cloud his senses with darkness. Never once did Riku feel as though he deserved Sora; and now, more than ever as he stared at the boy, smiling into the sunset, he knew that he could never deserve to sit here beside him.

After all, he had forsaken them all, forsaken Sora…

_I feel like "Fuck man,  
can't take this, anymore,  
this heart, break this."  
This is life that's so thankless,  
how could he just forsake us?  
_

So what gave him the right to be here with him now? What gave him the right to be basking in the light of the day? Nothing at all, he knew, and repeated it over and over in his mind. Nothing at all. He had helped defeat Xemnas, sure, but what else had he done? He had simply let himself go into the darkness, a weak helpless thing against its might. He had failed so many people—Kairi, Sora, himself… And he would only keep on failing, he was sure, so long as he was trapped in the light; in the darkness, at least, he had been useful…

So really, why not just return to it? Why not just fall back into the abyss that always seemed to be there to catch him? Why not…Why not take the coward's way out?

He had said once, when he had first felt the cold darkness twine itself up his body, that he did not fear it, and that was still the truth. He did not fear the darkness itself—only what he could find within it. He feared disobeying it; he feared the thoughts and doubts that plagued him and the feelings of utter failure that tore at his soul. The darkness had not mercy—therefore it could only ever be the perfect punishment for him, the ultimate sinner.

_Racist he makes us  
hate us he gave us  
nothing but no trust  
and I am so fucked up._

He knew what he had to do now, today, as he stared into the setting sun with darkening eyes. This was goodbye; Sora, perfect, lovely little Sora next to him just did not realize it. They had spent their day on the beach, like they always had before it had all started, like they had before the darkness had fallen and eclipsed his heart. It could not be the same; it could never be the same. So how could he have even been so naïve to believe Sora and think that it could be?

There was no going back, no way to erase the darkness. He had always been criticized for his angsting, but he deserved it now—he knew he did. He had survived on dark thoughts for so long; so long that he could now no longer think of anything else.

It was as though Ansem's voice was still in his mind, taunting him with all his truthful lies, poisoning him with all his twisted perceptions. It was perfect for him, the manipulation of his mind; he was better as someone else, he knew, than himself. He only wished Sora, sweet, innocent Sora, would realize that too.

He almost did not respond when Sora said his name; so used was he to being nothing at all, having no name but being a mere shadow, a presence, cursed by the dark.

Reacting slowly, part of him wishing that the oblivious, carefree Sora would notice his hesitation, he looked down into the other boy's perfect blue eyes, and felt his tainted heart turn over in his chest. The concern was shining in those blue eyes again; that damnable concern that had been his reckoning before, the sole thing that had brought him back to this island. He could not let himself worry Sora, could not let those blue eyes ever become hurt because of him. He would never hurt Sora again…

But as he stared into those bright eyes now, he could feel the acid rising in his throat, burning him, because he knew then that he would have to hurt him anyway. It was times to end the façade that he had put on for too long; it was time to let go and leave this island, time to fade back into the darkness—no matter how much it would hurt Sora.

Riku knew he was a selfish person, and he could no longer will himself to care.

"Riku…" Sora's voice was catching; perhaps he was just now beginning to see the shadow that had fallen over Riku's eyes, or perhaps now he was finally beginning to see that Riku could never truly be a part of this light world. And yet still he had to ask. "Riku, what's wrong? What…What are you thinking about?"

What wasn't he thinking about, would have been the better question. What couldn't he ever find again. He was thinking about the sun and the beach and the waves, thinking about eating sea salt ice cream and racing down the beach, sand flying up in clumps behind him. He was thinking of all he had lost, and all he could never find again. But how could he let Sora know that? Sora, who in all his brightness missed the lurking shadows within his best friend; Sora, who saw light in everyone, even the damned. Especially the damned.

"Riku? What are you thinking about, really?"

Sora was moving closer to him, the waves were receding back into the ocean. His blue eyes were getting closer and closer, all Riku saw…

And so he had to look away, back to the sun that was setting more and more and more with each passing second, as though it understood Riku's corrupted heart. The end of a day, the start of the darkness. He inhaled, exhaled, kept his eyes trained on that single sliver of sunlight left as he opened his mouth and began his goodbye.

"Sora—"

But there was no need to even start in the first place; Sora knew. He could suddenly feel it so perfectly in the tension within the lithe body, in the odd, stray flashes—random clouds---that had been floating through his eyes lately. Sora knew, and he had been just naïve to think that he wouldn't know; the façade, it seems, had been on both sides.

"Riku, you can't go."

And yet still—still—Sora thought that he could stop him. Perhaps the façade was not shattered yet; perhaps Sora was just scrambling to collect the last threadbare pieces of it. Normally, on any other day, Riku would have helped him collect the pieces, sew it back together into one big lie that they could all hide behind, one fantasy that was nothing but white space.

But today was the one day that he refused to help. The final day, the day when he allowed the façade's pieces to blow away on the wind, when he allowed the ocean that was crashing to the shore before him to take it away. Just pick it up, he pleaded, just take it and never return it, turn it back into the darkness. Turn him back into the darkness.

Sora was trembling next to him; he knew that this was it. Riku was not looking at him, the fake smile was not perfectly fitted into place as it had been so many—too many—times before. This was it, and the tears that came were as expected as the setting sun.

"Riku, you can't."

It was futile; they both knew that. And yet still Riku allowed himself to release a long indeed sigh, a sigh that was full of all his remorse, all that he had carried for too long that seemed to crash into Sora and make him tremble even more. Why couldn't he? There was no way that he could be stopped, no way that the shadows could be repressed.

The sun was so close to completely gone.

The air was getting colder.

Next to him, Sora's tears, rain from the sky, began to fall.

"N-No, you c-can't…"

"And why can't I, Sora?"

Riku's voice was weak yet dark, a flickering shadow that was slipping around the edges, preparing to spill out away from the light. His eyes were set on the horizon, and yet he still saw it when Sora turned those bog tear filled blue eyes up to him, still felt the tremor go through the younger boy's body as he fought his emotions, struggled with them. And Riku could do little but sit there and watch, patiently, awaiting what was to come.

"Riku you just can't dammit!" Sora's voice was becoming louder in his pain, his desperation. His voice was becoming every bit as loud as Riku's was getting weaker.

"That's not a reason. There has to be a reason."

There had to be some sort of sense in the chaos, some sort of hidden light switch he had yet to find in the fumbling dark. He had some sort of hope that Sora would give it to him, but when he found it would Riku be strong enough to pull it? Would he once again be strong enough to stare at his mistakes, those hideous things, in the broad light that showed every little goddamn blemish?

The answer was no; no he could not.

"What other reason is needed other than the fact that you're my best friend?" Sora's rising voice was cracking, a slit of dark in the light. "Dammit Riku, I thought…I thought that would be enough!"

The guilt; oh yes, Riku felt it eating at his heart, and had to close his eyes for a moment, relish in it. Eat away, he told it, there was no use fighting it anymore. He acknowledged that he was hurting Sora, but right now it could not matter; not when he knew that staying on the island would hurt them both even more.

Selfish, a voice called him in his tainted heart. Yes, he responded, a dull thud. Yes, he was selfish.

"W-Why Riku? Just…Just tell me that! Why? Why would you want to leave our island? Leave Kairi, leave…me?"

Why?

A question, echoing around in his head as his heart turned, and he inhaled sharply. Why? He had been suppressing it for so long, all the feelings rushing towards the surface like blood rising from torn skin, like a scab that had been picked apart to leave only blistering pain.

"Why…?"

"Because I don't belong here!"

The darkness was expanding; rising, falling, rising—a great tide in his body, all pointed towards the setting sun. He pressed his eyelids together tighter, tighter, until little bursts of color erupted, coloring the darkness. And in all those colors he screamed his heart out.

"I don't belong here, in this sunlight, in this normal perfect world! I don't deserve to be sitting on this beach, I don't…I don't deserve to be sitting next to you, here, in this perfect goddamn place where it seems like nothing is wrong but it is, it is—everything is wrong, dammit!"

Riku did not know when he moved, or really what the repercussions to his movements would be. But suddenly he was staring into Sora's perfectly teary blue eyes, his hands roughly gripping the lithe boy's shoulders desperately as he shook him, shook them both, with the force of his emotions. He should have let him go, should have looked away from those eyes that always read right into his soul, eyes overflowing with the purest of tears.

He should have just gotten up and left Sora there on the beach, alone, to stare into the now dark sky.

But his heart, that dark feeble thing, would not let him.

He was left to just stare into Sora's eyes, to watch those pure tears make clean marks down his face. He could not let his grip light up on the boys shoulders; he couldn't let him go until he listened, until he understood. Until he realized…

Seconds of dismal silence filled up the space between them, Sora's breath heavy as it fell out of him n nearly breathless pants. Riku could not look away from him, not even if he tried could he be pulled away from those blue eyes. They both knew it; they both knew that it was all up to Sora now, Sora and whatever response he would give. So Riku waited, heart dying with each second that slipped past in silence, hard eyes filling with darkness trained on light ones.

"R-Riku, how…? How can you even say that?" Sora swallowed hard and Riku watched the movement of his Adam's apple in his slender throat, counting down the seconds in his head, flexing his fingers roughly against the boy's shoulders. Shoulders that had carried so many burdens, shoulders that had supported him all those months ago when he was too weak to stand. He wanted to caress those shoulders as much as he wanted to curse them.

"How can you even say that you don't belong?" Sora's voice was a delicate whisper, his hot breath reaching across the distance between them to fan across Riku's neck. And to Riku his voice had never seemed louder. "You definitely belong here Riku! God, how can you even think you don't?! This is your home and—"

"This was my home Sora. Now it's only a place where all my sins are obvious, laid bare beneath the memories of the past. I can't believe…I can't believe that we actually thought that everything would be the same. I can't believe we actually thought—"

He had to stop himself, a grimace of pain overtaking his pale features as he had to shut his eye again, had to look away from the infinite blue encompassed in Sora's irises. He felt the shoulders shift beneath his hands, had to clench his shut eyes together tighter until it almost hurt, until he saw flashes of red as a warm hand—the hand of a savior, a hero—reached up to curl around one that was on his shoulders.

"Riku—"

He was not sure how much more he could take; he was not sure even when the anger inside of him started to build. It was irrational anger, the kind where to let it loose would be a mistake, the kind that crept up on a person and stung them in the ass. It was wrong to give into but what else, if not that anger, did Riku have left? He was an ocean that had been sucked dry, left empty and hollow and full of so much darkness that he actually was afraid, and so the flash of red irrational anger provided him was a life raft, a selfish means to find an escape.

Always selfish, always escaping, always using violence to cover everything up—the epitome of what he was.

_So let this gun bond us  
Let's hide by this lust  
and once we are just dust  
he'll know that he loved us _

"Sora, damn you, I don't want to hear it! I can't fucking take it anymore, ok?! For so long I've been trying to live this lie, been trying to find the light, trying to ignore the darkness and for what? For _you _Sora, always for _you!_"

He saw those perfect eyes widen in shock, saw them cloud with hurt, and could only continue, could only fuck everything up even more as he pushed the only person he loved as far away from him as he could.

"You ruined everything for me Sora, every little fucking thing! It was for you that I gave into the darkness in the first place, it was for you that I listened to Ansem, that I gave into him willingly and embraced all that I was afraid of! It's all because of you that it hurts to look into the light, all because of you that I can still hear his voice, whispering those lies into my head! All because…"

He was breathing heavily, Sora's tears falling from his face into the sand, to the ground in between them as Riku gripped his shoulders harder and harder, as though he were trying to break him. But never once did Sora complain. He simply listened to Riku, those great big blue eyes of his turned up, reflecting Riku's own dark eyes back at him. He was trembling; they both were, in the pain was nearly palpable in the air, a live person sitting between them, twisting a dagger into them both.

All the things that had gone unsaid, all the colors bursting in the darkness…

It all led to this, to the crumbling ache in Riku's heart, to the tears shimmering in the depths of Sora's eyes. Another lie that ended in a truth. It had never been Sora's fault, but Riku really had done all those things for him. All those things, given into the darkness, for the one pure thing he had left to hold on to, to the one ray of light that had not yet been entirely eclipsed by the rapidly descending darkness.

Desperate for it to remain, desperate for more tears, for more colors in the darkness Riku, already beaten for months, could only do the one thing that might save him but destroy them both and slammed his mouth down onto the other boy's.

_LET IT ALL BURN!  
I will burn first.  
God I've tried, am I lost in your eyes?  
Just let me burn, it's what I deserve.  
God I've Lied, am I lost in your eyes?_

And his scream was lost in the sweetness of Sora's lips, eyes squeezing so tightly shut until the colors were back, bursting against the back of his eyes sockets. Hr squeezed them tighter and tighter together until he saw blue, a sea of it, sparkling with the purest droplets of tears—

So take me and make me  
weakened and save me.  
This hate that you gave me  
keeps saying the same thing;

Everything was suddenly so dull, so gray andhazy as Riku pressed harder to those lips, to this sudden paradise he had found, as though he could take it all in and never let it go. Never mind Sora's muffled exclamation, no matter the hands pushing at his chest, clutching his shirt to draw him closer, push him back. Damn it all, so long as Riku had possession of Sora's mouth, so long as he could have this, this final sweet taste of light, before he fell back into the shadows. Only this and nothing more.

"To sing when you hurt  
and to sing when you cry  
to sing when you live  
and to sing when you die."

When they did break away it was from lack of oxygen, but Riku would not part from him, from Sora, so completely, would not let his little slip of paradise disappear yet.

"Riku, what—"

It was feverish now, the pressing of lips against lips, teeth against teeth as Riku clawed to get closer and Sora fought to pull him closer and push him away. He could feel the boy's confusion in his wayward kisses; he would respond and then he wouldn't, his hands convulsing on the front of Riku's shirt.

After awhile however, as Riku forced his tongue past the barrier of those sweet lips, he could feel Sora give into him, the younger realizing that struggling was futile; Riku, above all else, needed this. And who was he to deny it?

"Nnng, Riku…"

It was nearly enough to send the already spiraling boy into a fit, his tongue plunging that much deeper into the other boy's mouth, his hands trailing desperately, roughly, over tanned skin underneath Sora's shirt. There was so much pleasure, but at the same time, as Sora fell back on the sand with him on top of him, there was so much pain. It wasn't right, a voice was whispering, he was forcing himself upon Sora, taking something that should not be his.

And yet still his kisses continued, feverish, hands roaming as moans pervaded the air. Stop now, turn back. Remember what needed to be done… This heaven did not belong to him, this little piece of it slowly growing corrupted with his darkness. And somewhere, between the frantic kisses and feel of hot flesh, a single voice was heard. A voice that was the sole conductor of darkness itself, the man who had done everything to Riku, the man who would always haunt him.

He was hurting Sora, he jeered, hurting the one person that mattered the most to Riku. And he called himself a friend? He was becoming a rapist, he was exploiting Sora. And for what?

Selfish, selfish Riku, he laughed, and the eyes of the devil—as orange as flames—were flashing. Go on and spread the darkness, eat Sora up with it; do what I could never do and corrupt him…

And just like that all of it was gone, and Riku, eyes opening wide, mouth falling open, all but flung himself off of his friend, landing in the sand trembling, dark aqua eyes set unseeingly on the sand, on the startled, breathless Sora who was staring back at him with equally wide eyes. Those perfect, sky eyes…

_And here at the end,  
at the end of the hurt  
all the pain ain't the same  
when it's your turn to burn.  
We're the heart for the heartless,  
the thoughts for the thoughtless,  
the lies for the liars;  
we're the Gods of the deadless!_

And all they could do was stare and breath, Riku's horrified eyes watching as Sora regained the breath **he **had stolen. One question beat relentlessly around in his tortured mind, a slice of reason, a slice of wonder—why? Why had he done that? And why…Why did he want to do it again?

He had never hated his heart more than in that moment, because it had the answer. It whispered it to him on a cold breeze, on a stuttering pulse that ran throughout his entire body. Love, it whispered, dripping with a sweet venom, he loved Sora, he loved him. And Riku once again had to fight back to urge to just scream, throw his head back and stare into the dark sky and scream, scream, scream his heart out.

Let it all burn  
I will burn first  
God I've tried, am I lost in your eyes?

As he looked back to Sora through glazed eyes he felt that irrational anger that had started it all rise up in him again. Those blue eyes looked fine, those blue eyes still sparkled; Riku almost wanted to just poke them out, put the ever constant light out of them somehow, make them start shining on him…

And he hated Sora as much as he hated himself then, for giving him a taste of paradise that he would only lose, for making his dark heart shudder in regret and struggle to find a loophole, any possible way, to remain with Sora. Just stay here with him, staring into those eternally blue eyes, just floating away…

But Riku was not naïve, and never would be. He could not believe even for an instant that things would be OK, that he could just close his eyes and force that empty smile back on his face, laugh with no feeling and live the life of the liar. He knew that things had been irrevocably changed, especially now; especially with the sweet taste of Sora on his lips.

"R-Riku…?" Those thoroughly kissed lips were trembling, and Riku—for his sanity—had to close his eyes again. Clenching his fists into the sand that he had been playing in since he had been born, he fought that never ending battle within himself as he searched over and over again for that elusive control, for the guts to just come out and say what needed to be said…

Just let me burn  
It's what I deserve  
God I've Lied, am I lost in your eyes?

"Riku, please…" Sora was moving towards him; he did not have to open his eyes to know that. It took every fiber of his being not to just flee the beach then, to leave this mess behind to be dealt with for another day. But there were no other days; only nights—long, endless nights.

"Sora…" It hurt to say that name, and the darkness inside of him—that living, pulsing beast—seemed to be splintering. "Sora, stop right there. Don't…Don't come any closer!"

Was it just him, or did his voice grow deeper suddenly? Did his voice… No, it could not be… Could it? He heard _his_ voice in his, that deep timbre that sent him reeling further back into the dark sea, that voice that had haunted him over and over again for what had seemed like years, back to echo in his head…

He felt sweat begin to break out on his brow and huddled into himself, feeling the stab of fear, the perfect aim of it in the darkness. So obsessed with fighting it back, trying to miss that lethal blade, Riku forgot about the boy who was watching him with the deepest blue eyes, eyes which were brimming more and more with tears, streaking down reddened cheeks. Blue eyes which, as they scanned the distraught face of his lost best friend, filled slowly with the urgency only the determined could possess.

_So cry 3 tears for me,  
when it's all gone,  
sing me this song  
_

There were only shadows when warm lips pressed against his, and for a moment Riku—blindfolded all over again—had to wonder if the sensation was real. The warm taste that flooded over his tongue, the rarest of delicacies, this heaven that he had already told himself he did not deserve; how could it be real?

He was waiting for it to fade, to dissolve into the darkness never to be seen again. But… Those lips only seemed to press more urgently to his, the taste only seemed to burn harder and harder into him until it began to become real, the colors bursting behind his eyes bleeding into the darkness, produced by each slide of those soft lips against his.

_So cry 3 tears for me,  
when it's all gone,  
when it's all gone_

And now it was not the darkness Riku was falling into, but something entirely different.

I can not stand  
who i am I'm this man  
with this blood on my hands  
in this blood I am damned  
so watch my wings burn  
as they burn in the fire  
I'll scatter the ashes  
no need for the choir

Hot lips on his, warm hands clutched desperately into the front of his shirt… The urge to surrender was tearing him in all directions, the soft claws Sora provided digging into his darkness, trying and trying to make a hole, rip a seam for it to spill out of.

Riku should have stopped him; Riku should have had more control, Riku should have pulled back then and fled, left the calling of that light to go back to where he knew he belonged. Riku should have done a lot of things, but all of them were lost as Sora pulled him even closer, and Riku almost felt as though the boy were trying to absorb him.

Eyes closed, colors dancing; Riku did not have the strength to fight it, to even be surprised. It was suddenly as though everything was supposed to be this way, as though Sora's lips were meant to be on his and dispel the darkness.

And that was what was happening—with each brush of those soft, heavenly lips against his, the darkness that had been for so long rolling around inside of him seemed to be fading, a reverse eclipse in his mind, his heart, as the dark waters began to recede under the will of all the light Sora possessed in his skinny body.

And through it all Riku was not aware of the tears falling soundlessly down his own cheeks as he fell deeper and deeper into his forbidden paradise as he surrendered and kissed back with every ounce of his starved being.

Let it all burn,  
I will burn first  
God I've tried, am I lost in your eyes?

If he could feel anything beyond the amazing feelings Sora was producing, Riku would have felt himself, throughout the duration of that long, last kiss, growing lighter and lighter. The darkness was shedding off of him in layers, one by one by one under the soft, urgent caress of Sora's lips, the warm, salty tears he shed and the painfully gentle way he gripped Riku's shoulders. This boy, this keyblade master, was saving yet another soul, just not by the means he was used to. This young boy, this seasoned warrior who had fought countless battles did not notice that he was helping his best friend win the biggest one of all—the battle for his heart.

With each second that their lips meshed together a tiny crevice in Riku's heart healed, a little more of the darkness waned until there were streaks of light, coming down to caress him from where they had been dormant behind the clouds for so long. Sora's warmth was the dissolving factor, Sora's hands on his the anchor that dragged him further and further away from the shadows, the guilt, the pain that Riku knew he deserved.

It seemed to be perfect and it should have been; Riku needed to be saved after all, Riku had to stay on the island with Sora to create a happy ending.

But that was just what was wrong with it; Riku knew with all his heart—despite the healing it was undergoing—though he did not deserve the light, the happiness, the happy ending. He deserved none of it, not when he was not yet ready to forgive and forget himself.

_Just let me burn  
it's what I deserve,  
God I've lied, am I lost in your eyes? _

So it would have been a lie to say that he was immersed in the kiss, because he wasn't; he felt every single emotion resound through him with a clarity that broke him down as much as Sora's warmth saved him. Sora's heart was too big, and Riku was convinced his was too laden with despair, with guilt and all those other dark emotions for even a heart as strong as Sora's to support.

And even if he allowed the boy to take the weight, even if he selfishly gave into the kiss, the light, the warmth…

In the future, he knew it would all end up the same, only he would not only burn in the darkness himself, but he would have Sora with him, that big light heart burning up, those lovely blue eyes shadowed in agony.

Riku was a selfish person; but this time, just this once, he told himself that he couldn't be, and breaking away from the paradise of Sora's lips, he was determined to stick to it. For once in his life, Riku was resolved to think of someone other than himself.

This hate that you gave me keeps saying  
Just let me burn,  
Just let me burn

With a choked growl Riku threw himself backwards, away from those sweet lips and the light that only Sora held into the shadows, falling back on the sand to stare up into the face of darkness, that canvas that just grew larger and larger and larger…

He was not aware that he was speaking, the words falling on the deaf ears of salvation.

"I can't hurt him, not him, not Sora… I'll go back alone, I swear, just leave Sora alone… No resisting, no pulling back, just straight into the madness…"

He might not have heard himself speaking, but Sora, who was still sitting before him, the tears still falling from his eyes that mirrored the sky, heard every single word. And the determination inside of him grew until he knew—just as he's known as soon as his lips had connected with Riku's—that he could not let his friend go. And he could not let him go simply because Sora now knew, with every beat of his pure, light heart, that he could not live without Riku, not again, and that this separation, another separation…

It would not only end his light, but Riku's as well. Riku's light, fostered so carefully within him…

Sora only knew that he had to give it back to him, give him paradise, before it was lost for good.

_  
This hate that you gave me keeps saying  
Just let me burn,  
Just let me burn  
_

And so Sora, self sacrificing Sora, did what his heart—that weapon that had never failed him—commanded and leaned forward, across that small distance that felt so immensely huge within the spans of his heartbeats, and caught Riku in his arms. Hands clasping together, eyes still streaming tears Sora clung to his best friend, face buried so deeply in his chest, listening to the heartbeat that Riku always claimed was not his own. And as he listened to the heartbeat of supposed darkness, the fierce determination that had in the past gotten him so far grew and grew, and he found himself speaking, speaking his light heart out.

"Dammit Riku no! You don't belong there Riku, you don't…"

Riku shuddered against him, and Sora could all but feel the struggle carrying out inside of him.

"Yes, I do," Riku gasped, "How can you say that Sora…? After all I have done—"

"That's the past, Riku, the past! Why are you so determined to fall back on that!?"

The heartbeat beneath his ear seemed to explode as Riku, with a half cry, half roar, tried to tear Sora off of him, hands coming up to crush small shoulders, aqua eyes that were too dark staring down into those teary sky ones.

"I can't hurt you again!" Above the beating of frantic hearts Riku's voice seemed to echo. "I can't do this, I can't be near you knowing all I have done!"

And Sora, caught within the other's painful grip, could only cry out above the raging storms, to the darkening sky. "Why Riku?! Tell me why!"

_  
Burn  
NOW  
Burn  
_

"Because…!" The sun was gone now, the darkness was all around. The voice in his head was laughing at him as Riku released Sora, the smaller boy, stunned by the action, falling back limply to the sand. More tears fell from those eyes, and for the first time Riku found that some of his own were collecting in his eyes.

This was it, wasn't it? As Sora tried to struggle back to his feet this had to be the ending, this had to be the moment where, coincidentally, in a twist of tragic irony, the truth that had been for so long hidden in the darkness he was falling back to would be revealed.

_  
Just let me burn  
NOW  
Burn  
_

As he turned away, as the portal to that place where Sora, lovely little Sora, could not follow him appeared, he looked directly those eyes, the last sky he would see, and saw those crystal tears—three of them—fall one last time.

"Because Sora, I am in love with you."

A flash of darkness, the light fleeing the premises as Sora crumpled to the sand, alone, and cried his light little heart out. And all he could feel, deep inside his chest was one thing…

__

BURN!

* * *

Wow, this is the longest story I've ever written that's a oneshot! I think back when I wrote this I was sick with a bad cold, so forgive the randomness of some parts! I never really think clearly, ha.

R-E-V-I-E-W.


End file.
